I am procrastinating writing. I only procrastinate when I have something I want to say. It does not make sense but when I know I can put my mind to a topic and write about it, I sometimes choose not to. I am fearful. I fear starting because of what can become of the writing.
The job of a writer is to pay close attention to things other people miss by not looking close enough. When you start looking closely and you start paying attention to things, you uncover a wealth of information. Sometimes what you uncover is motivating and you cannot help but to share it with everyone you know. Other days you don’t want to look closer. You want to write, but you don’t want to do the work required of a writer.
I have been having a few of those days. The way I write is by working through past experiences and pulling out the truths buried inside of them. More often than not, those truths are universal and relatable, so I share them. I have learned every situation has a lesson. I have learned working through rough times by writing about them reveals these lessons. This work also heals you. I have seen it happen for myself. I healed deep wounds by writing about them, trying to make sense of them, pulling out the truth. It isn’t easy work but it is worth it.
I know I am on the brink of that again. I know I have to start doing the work. I know there are situations that needed healing and my attention. It is not that I do not want to write, it is that I do not want to let go of the stories I have been telling myself about these certain situations. The stories we tell ourselves about how things happen and what they mean provided us with comfort. Unraveling those stories and revealing the truth shakes you. The truth is always better though. There is no situation where the truth is not the best solution. The difficulty is allowing ourselves to get to the truth. Because the most difficult obstacle in the way of the truth is ourselves.