“It is much kinder to let people to go from your life gracefully then it is to hold them close and hate them. Because that’s poison and then you just swim in the poison every day. I hate her, I hate her. Just let her go. Liberate both of you.” – Glennon Doyle
How many of us are guilty of this? I am. But we don’t even realize we are doing. We do not realize we surround ourselves with things and people who are making us miserable. So, we wake up every day and wonder why we aren’t happy, why we aren’t enough, why, why, why? It is because we keep the poison close and we keep swimming in it.
It doesn’t have to be a person or a thing, it can be our thoughts which is why what we tell ourselves is so important. That is my problem, I make myself miserable. No one is hurting me, no one is doing anything to me, but me. I am staying in my mind and I am making myself sick with thoughts that are just not true. I promise you whatever your thoughts are, whatever you have convinced yourself is the true, no one cares as much as you do. Everyone is looking out for themselves. Most people do not sit around and contemplate how their behavior effects other people. But we spend all day saying, why did this person do this to me?
Our problems and our pain do not come from the things that happen to us. Our problems and our pain come from our reactions to the things that happen to us. So, when we are miserable because of something someone else has done to us, it is not true. We are miserable because of what we are telling ourselves about what that person did to us. We think people are out to hurt us but it is just not true. We hurt us. It is the things we tell ourselves that hurts us.
There are people who are no good for us, there are people whose actions may continuously hurt us. We have to think about what we allow into our lives and what we tell ourselves about those people. Those people can go, let them go, but also let the thoughts about those people go. Stop swimming in the poison. It makes you sick. No one has control over our lives but us and often we are our own worst enemies. People only have control over us or affect us because we give them the power to do so. We have to stop giving people that power.
The beautiful thing that happens when we stop giving that power to other people is we can keep it for ourselves. We can use that power, time and energy to create the lives we want. We can do the things we want. We will not feel so bad all the time, we will not be so sick, and we may even feel free. Life is better when we acknowledge we are in control of how we react to things because life does not happen to us, it happens for us. This life is a gift and it really is what we make it.
P.S. I pull from this Glennon Doyle speech a lot. It is an oldie but a goodie – here is the link if you want to watch it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxK-2aelH5g