Today I am taking my baby brother to college. How and when did he get so old? He is still a kid in my head, but yet he is off to start the best his adventure of his life. Also, how and when did I get so old that I finished college over a year ago?
I miss college, I miss The College. College was a slightly sheltered version of the real world. It was the best parts of being an adult without the hard parts of being an adult. All you had to do was choose a major because most people didn’t know what they wanted to do after college. You didn’t have to figure out your entire life, but just what you were going to do for the next four years.
Most of all I miss my friends. I miss us all being in the same place. I miss being able to go home and hang out with my best friends. There are many parts of college I would not repeat for all the money in the world but I would gladly repeat senior year again if you asked me to. Senior year was the best year because all the hard times from the past three years had settled and I finally felt at home. I felt like I had Charleston figured out, I had a plan for my future, so I could relax and enjoy my last year in my favorite place.
It also helped that I was living in my sorority house my senior year. I got to live with my best friend and I got to make new best friends. I got to come home at the end of the day and feel at home. I would sit out the couch with my sisters and we would talk and sing and do some weird shit. Living in that house really wrapped up college for me in the perfect way. I could not think of a better way to end my college experience. I could not think of better people to have lived with.
My senior year housing choice was my first lesson that great things come out having a failed plan. Junior year, I knew where was going to live and then changed my mind, then I knew where I was going to live and I changed my mind again. I finally decided to live at 32 Coming because I ran out of options. I am so glad I ran out of options. I am so glad I chose to live with five strangers and my best friend. I learned that the most beautiful things happen when we have no intentions for them to.
I miss college because the real world is hard and I haven’t even joined it yet. I miss my best friends living in my room, next door, or down the hall. I miss Charleston because there is no place like it. I miss my job working with kids. I miss all the food, I would love a Nutella custard right now. However, I don’t miss going to class, I could do without that.
As much as I miss my time in college, my one year in law school and the semi-real world taught me so much more than I learned in all four years of college. It was because I was on my own for the first time on the other side of the country from everyone I knew and loved. I had to grow in ways I didn’t even know were possible. This past year was hard, a lot of hard things happen, I had to make hard decisions. But the past year was the best year of my life because I found out who I am. I only learned who I was by going away and I learned I need to go home by thinking I was never going back.
Sometimes, I feel like my life is a mess right now. Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn’t have gone against status quo and just kept going through law school. But what I learned in California was not to doubt myself and trust what I know to be true. I know things are exactly as they are meant to be right now. I have no regrets about the past year, I definitely have fears about the future. But when are we not fearful of something? Fear will always be there. The only thing to do is acknowledge it, go right through it and get to the other side of it, because that is where the best things are.